at first, he had not questioned his waking to be so quiet. kaveh did not sleep soundly, plagued by nightmares as he had been, but he slept, and was not roused. the room is empty, he figures, because alhaitham is crown prince, and he has duties and responsibilities. kaveh had been the same way once.
on the first day, his thoughts are nicer to him. it is not as excruciating to be by himself, and he doesn't hate the quiet. the clothes, he rejects them until he's uncomfortable in his own filth, and finds that greens do not suit him nearly as well as lokapala's whites do. he spends the night reminiscing over it. the bouquet goes completely ignored.
on the following days, when alhaitham doesn't return, the weight of his thoughts are heavier. he overthinks, overassumes, makes up impossible scenarios that didn't feel so impossible anymore. alhaitham is making plans to sell him again. alhaitham is having meetings to find all the lokapalans that weren't in the kingdom at the time of the raid. alhaitham is torturing the other slaves. alhaitham, alhaitham, alhaitham.
he has nightmares on the third day, and forces himself to eat that night as well.
on the fourth day, the sketchpad had been appreciated, and it's the first time he feels gratitude since his capture. it's a moment too late, but better than nothing. here, he then wonders, someone surely must be requesting such things of the slaves and servants. alhaitham isn't dead, of course not. there had not been bells rung announcing the crown prince's passing, no mourning rituals. the idea that alhaitham has been thinking of kaveh is one that upsets his stomach, and he figures eating will be hard on the fourth day, too.
except it is on the fourth day that alhaitham returns, without a word, without a glance. kaveh is decoration. that much was obvious on day zero.
here, kaveh learns to despite the quiet.
he does not move from his divan (his, now, that he had spent enough time on to rid it of alhaitham's smell, only to be replaced by his own), but he sets the sketchpad and charcoal down, as though they are his, too, and not a commodity at all. ]
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happy to announce i did not die :)
Date: 2023-04-14 05:12 am (UTC)at first, he had not questioned his waking to be so quiet. kaveh did not sleep soundly, plagued by nightmares as he had been, but he slept, and was not roused. the room is empty, he figures, because alhaitham is crown prince, and he has duties and responsibilities. kaveh had been the same way once.
on the first day, his thoughts are nicer to him. it is not as excruciating to be by himself, and he doesn't hate the quiet. the clothes, he rejects them until he's uncomfortable in his own filth, and finds that greens do not suit him nearly as well as lokapala's whites do. he spends the night reminiscing over it. the bouquet goes completely ignored.
on the following days, when alhaitham doesn't return, the weight of his thoughts are heavier. he overthinks, overassumes, makes up impossible scenarios that didn't feel so impossible anymore. alhaitham is making plans to sell him again. alhaitham is having meetings to find all the lokapalans that weren't in the kingdom at the time of the raid. alhaitham is torturing the other slaves. alhaitham, alhaitham, alhaitham.
he has nightmares on the third day, and forces himself to eat that night as well.
on the fourth day, the sketchpad had been appreciated, and it's the first time he feels gratitude since his capture. it's a moment too late, but better than nothing. here, he then wonders, someone surely must be requesting such things of the slaves and servants. alhaitham isn't dead, of course not. there had not been bells rung announcing the crown prince's passing, no mourning rituals. the idea that alhaitham has been thinking of kaveh is one that upsets his stomach, and he figures eating will be hard on the fourth day, too.
except it is on the fourth day that alhaitham returns, without a word, without a glance. kaveh is decoration. that much was obvious on day zero.
here, kaveh learns to despite the quiet.
he does not move from his divan (his, now, that he had spent enough time on to rid it of alhaitham's smell, only to be replaced by his own), but he sets the sketchpad and charcoal down, as though they are his, too, and not a commodity at all. ]
Where have you been?