this is kaveh performing a singular, soulful action of selfish sacrifice. this is kaveh looking at fate the eyes and deciding that it is easier for those around him if he were to walk towards it in careful embrace. this is, simply, kaveh.
what kaveh doesn't know is that alhaitham, who knows that kaveh has accepted his fate, will never let into existence an universe that honours it. kaveh's fingers draw back. he locks their hands together - valley to valley, palm to palm, and alhaitham thinks - that kaveh feels not for the strength left in them, the tenacity of his grip and the solid weight of his all-consuming focus because he is putting it all towards something that is not himself. through this single, solitary gesture, kaveh is declaring that he is his art, and that he is nothing else, and that without his art, he is nothing, and therefore nothing to those around him. with this single, solitary gesture, hand to hand, palm to palm, wrist to wrist, kaveh is saying, paradoxically, thus: for alhaitham to be the first to let go.
alhaitham stands the opposite of kaveh. alhaitham, who has never let himself need beyond reason; kaveh, who has never allowed himself to want without guilt. he looks at him. kaveh says please. the word carves through alhaitham, cleaves through the fabric of his existence, and alhaitham continues to look. the weight of his gaze says thus: you say that word knowing what it does to me. you know. you know.
still: his fingers curl around kaveh's. the warm of his hand is like stone. ]
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Date: 2023-06-02 01:16 am (UTC)this is kaveh performing a singular, soulful action of selfish sacrifice. this is kaveh looking at fate the eyes and deciding that it is easier for those around him if he were to walk towards it in careful embrace. this is, simply, kaveh.
what kaveh doesn't know is that alhaitham, who knows that kaveh has accepted his fate, will never let into existence an universe that honours it. kaveh's fingers draw back. he locks their hands together - valley to valley, palm to palm, and alhaitham thinks - that kaveh feels not for the strength left in them, the tenacity of his grip and the solid weight of his all-consuming focus because he is putting it all towards something that is not himself. through this single, solitary gesture, kaveh is declaring that he is his art, and that he is nothing else, and that without his art, he is nothing, and therefore nothing to those around him. with this single, solitary gesture, hand to hand, palm to palm, wrist to wrist, kaveh is saying, paradoxically, thus: for alhaitham to be the first to let go.
alhaitham stands the opposite of kaveh. alhaitham, who has never let himself need beyond reason; kaveh, who has never allowed himself to want without guilt. he looks at him. kaveh says please. the word carves through alhaitham, cleaves through the fabric of his existence, and alhaitham continues to look. the weight of his gaze says thus: you say that word knowing what it does to me. you know. you know.
still: his fingers curl around kaveh's. the warm of his hand is like stone. ]
Is this how you beg?