[ kaveh's fingers curl around alhaithams. i'm sorry, he says, with gestures alone. alhaitham thinks, and not for the first time, that if he were sorry, he ought not have said it in the first place. not like this. not now. but that, too, is an unfair statement to superimpose upon a nuanced reality. the bite of kaveh's sorrow has teeth. an apology is no guarantee that kaveh will not bite again; he cannot stop, he does not know how. not when kaveh has lived its sorrow as if it were the very fabric of his soul himself.

please, kaveh says.

alhaitham, who has never done anything he didn't want to do, looks at kaveh. ]

I am demanding of my teachers. I am not interested in knowledge that does not challenge the fabric of what I desire. I will not stop until perfection. [ alhaitham's hand rests in kaveh's. it is betrayal; it is, also, a statement of precise intent: that alhaitham is not doing this for kaveh. he will do this for himself. ] I also reserve the right to dismiss any instructor that does not teach to my standards. If these terms are agreeable to you, you may choose a time to begin, Kaveh.