[ shouldn't it be?, he thinks. that in spite of everything, if one has fun, then maybe it's worth it. the time. the expenses. the regrets.

does fun outweigh guilt?

does kaveh's? ]

What would you think matters the most, if not fun?

[ a question for a question, for kaveh does not want to answer his own, in fear of his own answer. in fear of his own feelings.

the foliage that hugs sumeru is a beautiful green still, a reminder of the summer that greeted them. his skin cannot feel the way it tingles against it, uncomfortable but harmless. the lake beyond, he wonders, must be cold. this is what his life has become.

guesses, and assumptions, and wonders, wonders, wonders.

nothing is ever of certainty anymore. how is he, then, to answer such question, to give himself the room for regret? it is a door that opens. it is a window to his heart, shackled, bound. would having fun be a cure-all for his problems? would it rid him of the nightmares? would it prolong his life? does kaveh remember what it is to have fun, and laugh, and smile?

he kneels by the water. his reflection does not look like him. ]

Are you going to verify its credibility? It is quite the claim. Think of how it could change the lives of Amurta students and graduates both. Tighnari would know no peace.

[ ... ] That, too, could be fun.