[ that's the thing, alhaitham thinks. there is no entity in this world who can cast a moral judgment on the feelings of mankind. not god, nor devil, nor archon, nor abyss-sent, not celestia herself - not a single entity in this world who has the right to judge if alhaitham and kaveh are right or wrong. the only ones that alhaitham has ever allowed such judgment is from themselves. alhaitham, who is to judge himself by the actions he has chosen to take; kaveh, who is to judge himself by the choices he has not. but that is alhaitham and kaveh, that is their own, and theirs. greater lord rukkhadevata and lesser lord kusanali both could stand between the scales. it had always been there own.

is it bad, kaveh asks. and alhaitham thinks - it is bad, that alhaitham does not know. for it does not please alhaitham to be needed by kaveh. not really. because it does not please alhaitham to be needed by anyone. because kaveh needs alhaitham, but kaveh does not want alhaitham. because kaveh cannot allow himself to want, not as kaveh is the way he is now, curled along the riverbank with a smile like the waning sun.

alhaitham looks. of course he does. ]

You will think as you will, just as I will think as I will. [ alhaitham's hand reaches for kaveh. gently, he pushes back the unruly fringe of his hair. he pulls a spare clip from his pocket so that he can pin it back.

instead, what he says is the truth, and no more: ] You matter to me.

[ alhaitham shakes his head. ] What also matters to me is that you will attempt to draw the lotus of today once more tonight. Will you not like to see if your attempt is worse or better than mine?