[ none of the words said come as a surprise. it's an explanation, kaveh finds, for the lack of will to chase victory. it is a complement to words said beforehand, to actions taken, to an uncooperative behavior. it is, kaveh thinks, an excuse, one he accepts wholeheartedly.
still, in the fashion of a man who has lived bleeding for others, who has always put the world before himself and died for it: the lack of a wish, he finds, is a melancholic little thing. the words his master speak are enchanting in their own way, and for the average person, it is motivation taken-form. it is a solidified ambition, and translated into the common language, is: you can chase your dream, and grasp at it with your own strength. that, kaveh agrees with.
what differs the average, reachable dream and his own is the sheer magnitude of it. kaveh dreams of the impossible. kaveh dreams with something much bigger than the world, because kaveh, savior of sumeru, light of kshahrewar — that kaveh is much bigger than the average sumeran resident. it makes sense. it makes, too, an uncomfortable feeling boil in his heart. he lets it go, and looks over his shoulder.
alhaitham is as big an entity as he is. for the first time, he finds their partnership to be a reasonable one.
a breath, a sigh, and a glance at the blue, endless sky outside later, kaveh says: ] My wish is to live again.
... It might be selfish of me, and I'm sure there are those who would think me ungrateful, but really, I'm not. I'm thankful for what I had, and what I accomplished. I'm not ashamed of anything I did when I was alive. But, [ because there is always, always a but in all that kaveh says: ] I don't want to be Sumeru's Savior, or the Light of Kshahrewar. I was never as particularly outstanding or special as the people made me out to be. I was just a person like everyone else. I just had bigger ambitions. Anyone else could have been in my place.
[ not to say his accomplishments were not something he was proud of, because they were. kaveh has always known he was outstanding as a student, knows well that his fame as sumeru's most talented architect was never for granted. that, he could agree with. but titles have always weighted and meant more than they ever should. he has never enjoyed being called a genius, or said to be a prodigy or born with talent. he was not archon-blessed, or a gift from celestia. he was, and has always been: just a man. ]
So I want to live again, as Kaveh, a normal person with a penchant for architecture. I don't want to be held on a pedestal anymore. I should never been put on one, to begin with.
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fanfic warning i don't know what happened
Date: 2023-07-09 07:45 pm (UTC)still, in the fashion of a man who has lived bleeding for others, who has always put the world before himself and died for it: the lack of a wish, he finds, is a melancholic little thing. the words his master speak are enchanting in their own way, and for the average person, it is motivation taken-form. it is a solidified ambition, and translated into the common language, is: you can chase your dream, and grasp at it with your own strength. that, kaveh agrees with.
what differs the average, reachable dream and his own is the sheer magnitude of it. kaveh dreams of the impossible. kaveh dreams with something much bigger than the world, because kaveh, savior of sumeru, light of kshahrewar — that kaveh is much bigger than the average sumeran resident. it makes sense. it makes, too, an uncomfortable feeling boil in his heart. he lets it go, and looks over his shoulder.
alhaitham is as big an entity as he is. for the first time, he finds their partnership to be a reasonable one.
a breath, a sigh, and a glance at the blue, endless sky outside later, kaveh says: ] My wish is to live again.
... It might be selfish of me, and I'm sure there are those who would think me ungrateful, but really, I'm not. I'm thankful for what I had, and what I accomplished. I'm not ashamed of anything I did when I was alive. But, [ because there is always, always a but in all that kaveh says: ] I don't want to be Sumeru's Savior, or the Light of Kshahrewar. I was never as particularly outstanding or special as the people made me out to be. I was just a person like everyone else. I just had bigger ambitions. Anyone else could have been in my place.
[ not to say his accomplishments were not something he was proud of, because they were. kaveh has always known he was outstanding as a student, knows well that his fame as sumeru's most talented architect was never for granted. that, he could agree with. but titles have always weighted and meant more than they ever should. he has never enjoyed being called a genius, or said to be a prodigy or born with talent. he was not archon-blessed, or a gift from celestia. he was, and has always been: just a man. ]
So I want to live again, as Kaveh, a normal person with a penchant for architecture. I don't want to be held on a pedestal anymore. I should never been put on one, to begin with.