[ kaveh's gaze lowers. alhaitham puts the fork aside. the discussion has reached its logical conclusion. the answer is the stark daylight shearing through the vissudhan canopy at daybreak: how can someone choose you, when you yourself do not choose yourself? but that premise is flawed. the choices of others cannot be contingent merely on the choices one makes for themselves. alhaitham looks to the flagstones of choice he has laid down in the past. the cost of each flagstone was exactly what alhaitham could allow. he looks to the choices he will make in the coming days, and tabulates cost. alhaitham has only ever chosen himself for himself. it is the only responsibility he can allow himself ot bear. this, he does not expand upon, for alhaitham can see the very moment kaveh realises the paradox.
a cage is still a cage, even if a gilded one.
the lowering of his gaze, the trembling of his hands. alhaitham, who does not hold the key, thinks - he has never promised to be fair, nor has he ever promised not to be cruel. he has not made any promises at all. this, alhaitham knows. but alhaitham's gaze lingers. the cost, this time, will not only be borne by himself. there was a saying like this from the depths of fontaine's seas: hope makes hollow the heart. ]
A solution. [ he says, bloodless as stone. alhaitham takes a hand-towel to clean himself off. ] However, it doesn't seem needed.
[ alhaitham shrugs. ] Leave it by the door if you find it offensive.
[ a thought runs across his mind, and kaveh, fatigued and defeated as he is, finds humiliation in it. a thought runs across his mind: that there is gratitude to be had at the fact the conversation dies there, and alhaitham does not continue it. whether kaveh is truly seen, transparent, easy to read; none of it matters. between four walls and a relationship he has had no say in, masks are bound to fall, and feelings will slip out from each and every crack so well-maintained. alhaitham is, after all, wise. that much kaveh is aware. alhaitham knows, kaveh knows that he does, and no words need to be said.
it reaches for his heart, but the fact it is not voiced is what keeps the feeling from crushing him. he should not be grateful for it. and so, he lets go. ]
... Heat aids? [ is what kaveh eventually says, instead, as the box is opened. vissudha does not rely on suppressants, after all. it makes sense. the surprise is there not for their methods, but for its presence in the room.
he should not be grateful for it. he should not ever recall elham's words. he should not think of the sketchpad, the earrings, his parents' rings. kaveh would be foolish to mask whatever this is with kindness and sympathy.
yet the more it happens, he just finds himself to be so very weak.
he closes the box, and does not think about it. ] I will keep it. [ a pause, and kaveh looks away. ] Induced heats can be unpredictable. Besides, it could happen again.
[ it won't. alhaitham would make sure. yet, still, it's easier on him to assume otherwise. ] And if Tighnari can't make the suppressants, these will be needed.
[ alhaitham says. in a world where words cannot bend reality to its will, the very act of asserting it is more threat than promise. alhaitham says these two words with the lofty air of a prophet who has seen the ending to the long line of the universe. he says this as if asserting that the sky is blue or water is wet. he says this, because he is alhaitham, with the certainty of stone. it will not happen again. not an induced heat, not like this, and not to kaveh. words have little to do with the actions taken. but to alhaitham's world, which is shaped by words alone, alhaitham knows its weight.
alhaitham offers no explanation nor platitudes in its wake. kaveh is perched over the heat aids. alhaitham looks. the potential of tighnari of the avidya being unable to create the suppressants or being able to source what is needed to do so is a bigger hurdle that alhaitham is not inclined to make promises for. there are things outside of his control. these matters must be, though it does not please him to have them be so.
still: ]
In the interim, I will send word to your people. Think on when you would like new meeting times to be set.
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sparkles!!!
a cage is still a cage, even if a gilded one.
the lowering of his gaze, the trembling of his hands. alhaitham, who does not hold the key, thinks - he has never promised to be fair, nor has he ever promised not to be cruel. he has not made any promises at all. this, alhaitham knows. but alhaitham's gaze lingers. the cost, this time, will not only be borne by himself. there was a saying like this from the depths of fontaine's seas: hope makes hollow the heart. ]
A solution. [ he says, bloodless as stone. alhaitham takes a hand-towel to clean himself off. ] However, it doesn't seem needed.
[ alhaitham shrugs. ] Leave it by the door if you find it offensive.
no subject
it reaches for his heart, but the fact it is not voiced is what keeps the feeling from crushing him. he should not be grateful for it. and so, he lets go. ]
... Heat aids? [ is what kaveh eventually says, instead, as the box is opened. vissudha does not rely on suppressants, after all. it makes sense. the surprise is there not for their methods, but for its presence in the room.
he should not be grateful for it. he should not ever recall elham's words. he should not think of the sketchpad, the earrings, his parents' rings. kaveh would be foolish to mask whatever this is with kindness and sympathy.
yet the more it happens, he just finds himself to be so very weak.
he closes the box, and does not think about it. ] I will keep it. [ a pause, and kaveh looks away. ] Induced heats can be unpredictable. Besides, it could happen again.
[ it won't. alhaitham would make sure. yet, still, it's easier on him to assume otherwise. ] And if Tighnari can't make the suppressants, these will be needed.
no subject
[ alhaitham says. in a world where words cannot bend reality to its will, the very act of asserting it is more threat than promise. alhaitham says these two words with the lofty air of a prophet who has seen the ending to the long line of the universe. he says this as if asserting that the sky is blue or water is wet. he says this, because he is alhaitham, with the certainty of stone. it will not happen again. not an induced heat, not like this, and not to kaveh. words have little to do with the actions taken. but to alhaitham's world, which is shaped by words alone, alhaitham knows its weight.
alhaitham offers no explanation nor platitudes in its wake. kaveh is perched over the heat aids. alhaitham looks. the potential of tighnari of the avidya being unable to create the suppressants or being able to source what is needed to do so is a bigger hurdle that alhaitham is not inclined to make promises for. there are things outside of his control. these matters must be, though it does not please him to have them be so.
still: ]
In the interim, I will send word to your people. Think on when you would like new meeting times to be set.